Put that badminton set...
with the sporting goods, will you?
Okay. Ed, I'm going to get my haircut now.
All right.
Last time I had a trim, Denise said that I should...
consider having some highlights. What do you think?
I like it the way it is.
Really? Oh, yes.
Okay.
Oh.
When you have a moment, would you go downstairs and bring up more fax paper?
It's next to the birdseed.
Hello, Ed.
Ed? Ed?
I'm sorry, Ruth-Anne, what?
I promised Maurice I'd have it waiting for him.
Yes, ma'am. Right away.
Thank you.
One Who Waits.
You're looking well, Ed.
Thank you.
I see you've found a new vocation.
Vocation? Oh, yeah.
This is just until my directing career takes off.
It's always good to have something to fall back on.
Can I offer you a Musketeers Bar?
No, thanks, Ed. I'm a ghost, remember? We don't eat.
Oh, right. Sorry.
No need to feel so.
I must admit, I like to take a whiff of food every once in a while...
for old times sake.
You know how it is.
What brings you here?
Remember the last time I was here in Cicely...
and how bad you felt when we couldn't find your parents?
Uh-huh. I felt bad, too...
so I kept on looking.
I looked everywhere.
This world, the next.
I never walked so hard when I was alive.
I thought I'd have to change my name to One Who Walks.
My dogs were taking a beating.
Anyway, the bad news is...
I went through five pairs of moccasins.
The good news is, I found your father.
Mmm-hmm.
Buenos días, Cicely and mi jefes.
This is Chris in the Morning with a couple of quick notes.
And under our Cosmology and Astronomy department...
an eye-opener for you stargazers.
HD 1545, once thought to be...
a single star with a weird little wiggle in its orbit...
is actually two. Twins, binaries...
two stars orbiting around each other, so...
congrats to our tiny little celestial dancer...
and your new partner HD 1545-B.
Talk about cosmic couples, it seems our own Milky Way has a significant other.
That's right, we're being slowly tugged along...
by a sister galaxy, Andromeda...
and even beyond that there's a great attractor.
A super cluster of galaxies that's...
slowly drifting towards our own super-cluster...
in a warm gravitational embrace.
Always remember, it takes two to tango.
I appreciate you coming, One Who Waits...
but, you know, I already saw my father.
You did? When?
Well, it was the last time you were here, right after you left...
and I found him changing his truck tire...
and he had the same jacket on as me.
Oh, that guy. That's not him.
No?
No, it was an honest mistake, Ed.
Because you don't see that jacket on Indians everywhere.
But, One Who Waits, a raven flew by...
the wind came up and Nat King Cole was on the radio.
Coincidence.
I have my information on good authority...
from Donald Napakiak...
a respected elder.
I met him just after he died...
and he told me specifically who your father is.
He did? Really?
That's right.
Hi, Ed.
Hi, Shelly.
Who's that you're gabbing with?
One Who Waits.
One who whats? Waits.
Oh, you know, my invisible friend.
Oh, the ghost dude.
Where is he?
About here?
Oh, almost. Just over a little to the left, and up.
So, what's it going to be?
Hmm.
Well, he's not sure yet.
Last time you had hamburger and fries, remember?
You got off sniffing the ketchup.
But you hated the smell of the gherkins on the side.
Good memory. I like that in a girl.
I'll have the same. Okay.
Two burger specials, please.
And hold the gherkins.
Right.
Are you still making movies?
Oh, sure.
I was thinking about making my next project a documentary.
Documentary?
Yeah. That's a true-to-life account of something.
See, they're repaving this 4-mile stretch of highway...
between Cicely and Klukwan.
And I was thinking, it would be very, very dramatic...
man, machine, battling the permafrost.
Ed?
Dr. Fleischman.
What are you doing?
I'm talking to my friend, One Who Waits. My guide.
Oh, right. Of course, the spirit pal.
He's 250 years old...
and sniffs his food, tracks relatives.
Right!
You can't answer right to a question like that.
Seeing invisible people and having conversations with them...
I mean, we went through this.
This is a manifestation of psychotic behavior.
Oh.
Look, I don't want to alarm you, but I think that if this continues...
we should really consider psychotherapy.
Okay, Dr. Fleischman.
And, listen if this...
friend suggests that you climb up on a roof and take a leap...
I really hope that you'll give me a call first, okay?
You've got it, Dr. Fleischman.
All right.
I don't understand, Mike.
The whole coast of Alaska is vulnerable.
See this dot here? Uh-huh.
That's an iceberg...
calved off from an ice sheet in the Chukchi Sea...
about three weeks ago.
Now, it's drifting southeast...
with an abandoned Soviet research station on it...
and dozens of 50-gallon drums scattered all over the place.
Yeah? Yeah.
The thing is, nobody seems to know what's in them.
The Russians, they don't have any records.
We can't tell.
It could be an ecological time bomb.
That's awful. Exactly. Look.
The iceberg's come 30 miles already. It's just off Enurmimo.
If it hits the right current...
it could be right here in our own backyards in a matter of days.
God.
Luckily, I'm in good shape.
I've been monitoring every reactive index in my body.
Toxin absorption, anti-oxidants, selenium, zinc, copper...
I'm at median levels all the way around.
What are you talking about?
We're going to find out what's in those drums.
We?
I need you to fly me to the llivit Mountains.
The llivit Mountains? Yes.
From up there, I'll be able to get a clear reading.
If there's paint in the drums, I'll have an olfactory reaction.
Rhinitis, sinusitis.
If it's formaldehyde, excessive lacrimation.
Sulfites, paroxysmal sneezing.
And if it's petrochemicals...
any kind of epidermal response...
from rashes and hives to canker sores.
What if it is toxic, and you have some sort of reaction?
Then, we'll have good, hard data for the EPA.
Good evening. Where's the owner?
I'm your man. What can I do for you?
Got a piano here? Yeah.
Well, I'm the tuner. The tuner?
Are you going to take me to it...
or am I going to stumble around here like a blind man?
I'll take you.
You know, I had a friend, Bert Nystrom. He...
He was unsighted, too.
He used a dog to help him get around.
I had a dog once.
But then business got real slow, so I ate him.
Man's best friend tastes surprisingly like chicken.
51-inch Sterling.
Oh.
This is a mess.
The key bushings are worn out, missing dampers...
someone's sprung the trapwork.
Well, we get pretty large temperature extremes around here.
That could account for it.
$150.
I'm sorry?
I'll tune this piano for $150.
I don't know, that's an awful lot of money to spend on this old thing.
This "old thing" has copper-wound bass strings...
and nickel-plated tuning pins.
Holling, customer at number four says the fish cakes are rank.
What do you think?
What are you trying to do, poison people here?
Who's he?
This is a piano tuner, Shelly.
You're blind, huh?
Good call.
You know, that was such a bummer on Little House...
when Mary Ingalls got scarlet fever and couldn't see any more.
Nice meeting you.
Shelly, ask him if he wouldn't like a Moose-burger.
That's the way I like 'em, blonde and stacked.
How would you know that?
I may be blind, Sherlock, but I'm not stupid.
Hey, Fleischman, I need to ask you something.
Are you hemorrhaging, O'Connell?
No.
Acute abdominal pain? No.
Life-threatening situation? No.
Well, I'm busy. Please.
I need some information, Fleischman.
Mike and I are going away for a couple of days.
Mike? Yes.
I need to know if there's any medicine he might need...
or anything I should watch out for.
'Cause you and Mike are going away for a few days?
A couple of days, Fleischman.
A couple, meaning two, not a few, meaning several.
What?
Fleischman, I don't know what kind of scenario...
your juvenile imagination is concocting...
but Mike and I happen to be doing some very important research.
No doubt.
I am flying him to the llivit Mountains...
so he can read what's in some 50-gallon drums floating on an iceberg.
Mike is going to the top of a mountain so he can...
take a sniff of a drum, what, 500 miles away?
That's right.
O'Connell, let me give you a little gloss on the old olfactory system, okay?
High up in the nasal passage is a tract of mucous membrane...
which contains the cell endings of the olfactory nerve.
This is how we human beings acquire our sense of smell.
Mike would need...
an olfactory nerve the size of Yankee Stadium...
to do what you're talking about.
Forget it.
Wait. No, no, no, no. I get it. I get it.
It's like The Princess and the Pea thing, right? Yeah.
If a woman can sense a pea 50 mattresses below her...
certainly a man can smell some schmutz in a drum hundreds of miles away.
What made me think you were going to help me?
Wait! We're missing a golden opportunity here.
I'll bet even as we speak, there's some miscreant up in Yokohama...
illegally firing up his hibachi.
You can get Mike to the top of Mount McKinley and bust the sucker in a flash.
Drop dead!
See that guy over there?
That's him.
You mean the short one with the ponytail?
No, the tall one.
Are you sure? Absolutely.
Look at that chin. Look at those eyes.
My eyes are blue.
Whatever.
That man is your father.
What are you waiting for?
Go on over and talk to him.
I don't think now is such a good time.
You know, I promised Ruth-Anne I'd defrost her freezer.
Ed, that man is your father. You've been waiting all your life to meet him.
I know, but...
I think tomorrow would be a better day, you know.
I've the whole afternoon off tomorrow.
I could have spent the last two years relaxing...
reminiscing with friends, carving totems.
But no, I spent the time looking for your father.
Why? Because I couldn't get your face out of my mind.
An orphan boy, longing for some knowledge of his father.
Now go on over there.
Excuse me, Sir.
Oh, good. You're here.
I need you up there right away.
You're the skip sheeter, right?
Uh...
After you finish the sheeting...
I want you to move on to laying the felt.
But don't go on to the starter course until I check the shake, okay?
Hey, Ed, come here.
There's a seat right here.
After you get finished laying the felt...
I want you to hold off on the first row of shake.
I may need you inside to help the finish guys with the tape and float.
Okay.
Can I ask you something?
Sure.
What's your name?
Pete. Pete Jarvis.
I'm Ed.
You're right.
Ed Chigliak.
I just thought you should know.
Know what, Ed?
That's my name.
See, the thing is...
I know what this is all about, Ed.
You do?
It's as plain as that mustard on your face.
I was watching you work. It's obvious.
You don't know your way around laying paper.
Oh.
You're right, Pete. Paper keeps sticking out from underneath the shingles.
We'll fix that.
Right after lunch, I'll come up there...
and show you how to do the overlap, okay?
Oh, yeah. Okay.
Great.
That's funny.
The way you eat your sandwich.
I like to work my way in.
My son does that. I always get such a kick out of watching him.
You have a son?
Two. And a girl.
We live over in Chickaloon.
I wish work didn't take me away so much.
I get home and they're all a foot taller.
The little one, Freddie, he likes to eat around the edges first.
I don't know where he gets it from.
Must have been something he saw on TV.
Oh.
Pete, I think I'll just wait for you on the roof, if that's all right?
I'll be there as soon as I finish the rest of this turkey loaf.
All right.
Can I sweeten your coffee for you?
I've had all of that sludge I can stand.
Hold on, come back here.
Do you know what these are?
Thumb tacks.
Which some cretin stuck into the piano hammers...
to get a honky-tonk sound.
Now the striking points are dead.
Get a pencil. A pencil?
You're going to be writing something down.
I would do it for you, but I'm told my penmanship is lacking.
All right.
Sleetmute, Pollard's Music. Get me a carton of treble piano hammers.
That's treble piano hammers.
Sleetmute?
S- L-E-E-T-
Sleetmute is over 200 miles from here.
Well, then you'd better get going, I need those hammers by tomorrow.
You expect me to drop everything just to fetch your hammers?
Read my lips, Einstein.
Yes.
Who does he think he is?
I'm paying that man.
He works for me, I don't work for him.
Whoa, chill, babe.
Where does he get off insulting me like that?
Treating me like some kind of errand boy.
Cut him some slack, H.
You got to remember he's like Mr. Magoo, only worse.
Yeah, this is good.
This is very good.
The high pressure area has moved inland.
The wind's coming from the north by northeast, 15 degrees.
12 knots, yeah, this is perfect.
Mike, Mike.
Really, shouldn't you be wearing a respirator or at least a pair of gloves?
No, no, no. I'm fine.
Smell the alders.
Aw, would you look at that?
How did that piece of junk get out here?
You ever hear of Surtsey Island?
It's this tiny speck in the North Atlantic.
It's some rocks and a whole lot of nothing.
But you know what people found...
when they first set foot on the beach?
Candy wrappers, plastic bags, and a vinyl sofa cushion.
What are we doing to this planet?
Whoa.
Wait a minute. What?
Ketones.
Phenols.
No. No cramping...
no ocular migraine.
We can forget about sulfites and paints.
The drums.
I'm starting to get some rash patterns, a little hiving.
Some sensitivity down in my pharynx.
It's got to be tars, it's all petrochemicals.
Lubricants.
Must be from that machinery used by the Russians...
out on that research station.
Mike?
Chance of anaphylactic shock.
Epinephrine.
Oh. Not to worry.
Just a precaution.
Good job, Ed. Thanks.
So, Ed, how did it go?
Really good. We got all the skip sheeting done...
laid all the paper, started on the shingles.
You accomplished a lot. I'll say.
What happened when you told your father who you are?
I didn't tell him.
You didn't tell him?
I was going to...
and then my mouth got really dry...
and it felt like my tongue was swelling up.
And then, every time I tried to get the words out...
it was like these great big hands...
just encircling my throat and choking me.
How very peculiar.
Not really.
'Cause, you see, when you left the last time...
and we couldn't find my father...
well, at first I was upset.
And then of course, I saw him, or I thought I did...
but it was okay.
You know, even if all we did was change a tire...
it felt better.
'Cause I didn't have to think about him any more.
Even if I thought I'd never see him again.
It was like Luke Skywalker.
Skywalker? Joe Skywalker's boy.
No.
Luke Skywalker is this character in Star Wars.
His father is a Jedi warrior...
and everybody thinks his father is dead.
But your father is alive and we know who he is.
Luke's father turned out to be alive, too.
And they got in this terrible fight.
And he cut off Luke's hand...
and, well...
that's the kind of thing that would make a person nervous.
You're disappointed in me.
Puzzled.
I thought you'd be happy to see your father.
I... It would be a great moment in your life.
I did, too.
Now I find out you're afraid to tell him who you are.
I'll tell him, I will.
I promise.
Hi, Ed. How's it going?
Well, I...
Have you told him yet?
I came really, really close this morning.
You know, I have an idea that might help.
Ask him to dinner.
Why ask him to dinner?
Because good food ends with good talk.
Since the beginning of time, it's always been that way with human beings.
Ancient legends are told...
marriage is proposed, hunts are planned.
Ed, take my word for it...
once you share a meal, it'll be easy to tell your father who you are.
Go ahead, go on. Ask him.
Pete?
Yeah, Ed?
I was wondering if you'd like to come to dinner at my place?
Dinner?
Yeah, you were so nice about helping me lay the felt and everything...
I just thought maybe you'd like a steak.
Or a fish or chicken.
You know, whatever you want.
Takeout, KFC, Chinese.
I mean, well, you have to eat, right?
So you'll come?
Sure. Good.
All right!
One Who Waits, he's coming over.
And we're going to have steak.
Or we might have chicken or fish...
but he's coming over.
I brought your hammers.
Just leave them.
You said you needed these things right away.
Listen, Jughead, I have to repair the shanks...
before I can put the hammers in.
Incidentally, it's going to cost you $250.
What is? This job.
You said $150.
That is before I found out the extent of the damage.
You've got loose bass-strings windings, broken brass butt flanges.
Mister, we set a price and we shook hands on it.
Excuse me, I shook hands with someone.
How do I know that clammy paw was yours?
Are you saying I'm trying to cheat a-
Perceptually impaired individual?
Someone who's visually challenged?
Who knows?
You may be trying to rob me blind.
Listen, I'm not the one who's trying to break this agreement.
Ooh, we're getting upset now, aren't we?
I can feel the heat radiating off your prostate.
You want to sock me, don't you?
Admit it. If I had 'em, you'd punch my lights out.
Come on.
Go ahead, what are you waiting for?
Go ahead, clean my clock.
Wherever you are.
What are you waiting for?
Come on! Belt me one, hero.
Let's slug it out, mano a mano.
Yeah.
Just what I figured.
A wuss.
A wimp.
I like the way you fixed these little carrots.
Yeah?
With lemon and honey.
There's a diner on the Alcan...
just outside of Dot Lake.
They make 'em like this.
Sweet potatoes, too.
Pete?
Yeah, Ed?
Well...
I just thought you ought to know that...
That what, Ed?
I have more brisket on the stove.
No, I'm fine.
Oh, okay.
With my work, Ed, I have to travel a lot.
I don't get very many home-cooked meals.
Usually it's chicken pot pie in a microwave.
Pete?
What?
I think you should know that I'm... I'm...
I'm... I'm... I'm...
You're what, Ed?
Kind of thirsty.
Would you like some tea?
Any coffee? Sure.
I've got Bavarian Chocolate Mint or Café Mocha.
Café Mocha would be good.
That your mom?
Her?
No, that's my Aunt Sylvia.
Of course, she's not really my aunt.
She helped raise me.
And who's this?
That's Carl Graybuck.
He's someone else from the tribe. He makes furniture.
Say, Pete, you know, I've got quite an extensive video collection over here.
Maybe you'd like to watch something.
This is my Native American section.
Pow Wow Highway, Black Robe, Broken Arrow.
That is one of my favorite films.
You know, excellent casting, they've got a lot of good action sequences in it.
Jimmy Stewart, Jay Silverheels.
I'm an orphan.
Excuse me?
I'm an orphan.
I'll check the water.
Hi.
Hi, come on in.
I didn't see you at The Brick last night.
I thought maybe with everything you inhaled, you weren't feeling well.
No, no, no. It's just... Very busy.
Come here, I'll show you something. Okay.
This is a satellite infrared taken two days ago.
Here's the iceberg.
Now, look at it in comparison...
with this taken last week.
See, it's...
It's obviously slowed.
Great.
I'll be monitoring it for a while...
to make sure it hasn't picked up any speed.
It depends on the Chukchi currents, that are right along here.
And if...
they don't surprise us, we'll be fine.
That's wonderful.
Of course, I'll have to keep the EPA informed.
Of course.
Maggie...
Mmm-hmm?
...you're standing on my foot.
Sorry. It's okay.
Whoa.
Let's do that again.
Wait.
What? I can't do this.
What?
This, I can't. I can't do this.
Is it Joel?
Fleischman? No, no, of course not. It's...
I've got to go. Why?
Mike, you don't want to get involved with me.
I don't want you to get involved with me.
I'm like toxic sludge.
I'm the global warming and the greenhouse effect all rolled into one.
Maggie, what are you talking about?
The kiss was great, it's just...
I kill men.
Hey, One Who Waits.
Ed, I've come to say goodbye.
Oh.
You're going.
There's really nothing left for me to do here now.
I'm sorry I couldn't tell Pete he was my father.
A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
Even if you can't explain why.
I just never seem to be able to find the right time.
There are those who believe that time is a wheel turning forever.
Which would mean that your moment will surely come.
Then, there are those who believe that time is a river.
Which, if that's true...
it's possible your moment has already flowed by.
Which one do you think it is?
I think that time is just time.
Goodbye, Ed.
Ruth-Anne?
Yes, Ed?
I've been wondering why a mother or father...
would decide to leave his or her child.
Is this about a TV movie?
No. I was just thinking.
There's this tiny baby, eight or nine weeks old.
Somebody bundles him up in a blanket and...
sticks him in a basket down by the river in the rushes, and...
Well, why would they do that?
There was a very good reason for that, Ed.
Pharaoh's soldiers would have killed that little baby Moses.
No, I wasn't thinking of Charlton Heston, Ruth-Anne.
I was thinking more like real-life. Oh.
In my experience, it's generally just a matter of youth.
Of not being able to see the consequences of your actions.
When my husband's youngest brother Clayton was 17...
his girlfriend dumped him for a college man.
And they were having a clog dancing contest...
down at the Odd Fellows Hall...
that Clayton was determined to win.
Really? Oh, yeah.
He wanted to show up his old girlfriend and her beau.
And sure enough, he and his new partner did indeed win.
The trouble was, they decided to celebrate...
in the back seat of his Hudson Hornet.
Get the picture?
Later, when the girl told Clayton she was pregnant, he just couldn't cope.
He didn't have any earnings except part-timing it down at the granary.
And the only reason he'd asked her out...
was he needed a dancing partner.
He didn't even know her folks.
It was a mess.
What happened?
He shipped out with the Merchant Marine...
for three weeks after she had young Dale.
The point I'm trying to make, Ed, is this:
It isn't that he was a bad boy.
It was just that he was a boy.
Still, they could have celebrated a lot smarter...
by having a couple of hot fudge sundaes down at Carvel's.
Okay, softer on the repeats.
Right. Keep it moving, but don't rush.
Better.
Arlen?
Yes?
The D above the middle C...
Yeah?
It's flat.
It's the way I want it.
Why?
You know anything about Persian rugs?
Isfahans, Tabrizes.
Sarouks?
Yes. No.
No, what?
I don't know anything about them.
The men who wove those rugs...
great craftsmen.
Shah Abbas, Seirafian.
It took years to complete each rug.
They tied thousands of knots...
but they always left one that was tied wrong.
One flawed knot.
You know why?
Otherwise the rug would be perfect?
That's right.
Okay, that's...
two and a half hours overtime, Tuesday...
full day Wednesday, full day Thursday...
and half a day this morning.
Thanks, Pete.
Thank you, Ed.
You're a good worker. Right.
Well, goodbye.
Pete?
Yeah?
Have a good trip home.
Thanks.
What's the matter, door stuck?
No.
Yes.
Come on, One Who Waits.
Come on.
What's the problem, Ed?
I'm your son.
What?
I'm your son.
My son?
About 20 years ago, you had a baby.
Only you didn't want him...
so you kind of left him...
and that baby grew up to be me.
How do you know?
A friend told me, but he wants to remain anonymous.
See, it was the spring of 1972.
May...
and Fast Cloud...
found a baby down by the Tuka River...
where the tribe goes to fish every day.
And that baby was wrapped in a sealskin coat...
and about eight weeks old.
I don't know what to say.
Oh. You don't have to say anything.
You don't have to explain.
I know what happened.
See, you were young...
and you were feeling awful bad because your girlfriend broke up with you.
And you needed a partner...
for the dance contest down at the Odd Fellows Hall...
so you took this other girl, and you won.
And you were feeling great...
so you celebrated in the back of your brother's car.
And she got pregnant...
and you got scared.
After all, you only had a part-time job down at the granary.
And you didn't even know her family.
Shoot, you didn't know her.
What else could you do?
You want a glass of water?
Yeah, please.
I hardly knew your mother, Ed.
Like you said, it just kind of happened.
I wish I could tell you where she is...
but I lost track of her a long time ago.
Always wondered what happened to you.
Where you were, who was raising you?
I'd see a kid in the school yard...
or a park...
and I'd think...
he's about the right age, maybe that's him.
I just hoped you were okay.
Oh, I'm fine.
Really, I've got all the people in the tribe.
Gosh, I got a lot of friends.
And I got a good job at Maurice's and another at Ruth-Anne's.
And, well, I've got my films.
I'm really doing very well.
Are you?
I sure am.
I'm fine.
You know, listening to you play the piano...
reminds me of something I remember, many years ago.
I was living up on the north shore of Lake Crosswind.
That's where I heard it.
Music spilling out of a piano.
Coming from somewhere across the water.
Three times I made my way around to the other side of the lake...
but I could never locate where that sweet sound was coming from.
It was as if the music were flowing out of the lake itself.
Gee, what an enchanting story.
Arlen, you are a thorough-going S.O.B.
Yes, I am.
I'm pouring whiskey.
You care to join me?
If it's on the house, the answer is yes.
You know, there was a time...
when I drank a lot.
Too much.
Self pity, perhaps.
But I had the perfect cover.
You see, no one gives a second thought to blind men walking into walls.
You know...
the other day, I really thought you might hit me.
Was I right?
No. But I had something else in mind.
Which was?
I was going to help you across the street.
Right in front of a logger's truck.
Not bad.
You know, I've torn apart a Bösendorfer up in Nome...
I've blowtorched frost off the church organ up in Barrow.
I've even tuned a Yamaha aboard a submarine at Adak Naval Base...
and everywhere I go, people want to say...
look at that nice blind man.
Look how nicely he handles his disability.
Isn't that nice?
That's what people want.
But a man has to be true to his nature.
And my nature...
Well, you know.
Pretty hard to make friends that way.
Making friends has never been very high on my list of priorities.
Of course...
if you were to set me up with a new pair of eyes...
I'd be your pal for life.
Hey, you shorted me.
Don't be so stingy this time.
Hi.
Maggie, this is ridiculous.
You can't just say to me, "I kill men"...
and then walk away, end of discussion.
It's true.
Come on, Maggie, you don't kill men.
Mike, yes, I do.
Ever since I was 21...
every man I've been romantically involved with...
has died an untimely, unnatural death.
You talking about Rick, who got hit by a satellite...
and that other guy on the glacier?
Yeah, like Rick and David.
But there's also Bruce and Glen and Steve.
Five men.
Five healthy men in the prime of their lives.
Five?
Yeah, five.
Well, okay.
Five guys.
That's strange, I admit.
But there is no cause and effect here.
Yes, there is.
I'm the cause, death is the effect.
Come on, Maggie. Look at me.
People think I'm nuts because of my illness...
but you and I both know that there's a rational, scientific explanation.
It's the same with you.
Maybe there is a scientific, rational explanation.
Maybe I effect men's molecular levels.
Maybe I disturb their negative ions.
Maggie- Science is based on...
observable phenomena.
You throw a ball into the air...
if it comes back down to earth every time...
you have gravity.
Well, I'm five for five.
I'm a scientific phenomenon.
Okay...
even if I believed that, which I don't...
remember who you're dealing with here.
There's not a man on the planet who lives more safely than I do.
My home is a hermetically sealed bubble.
I grow all my own vegetables...
I breathe filtered air...
I drink filtered water.
I don't smoke, I don't drive.
No matter how many negative ions you disturb...
nothing bad can happen to me.
Nothing.
What?
When I first met you I thought you were the bravest man in the world.
And now?
Now I think you're braver than the bravest man in the world.
Well?
I'll think about it.
Okay.
You're stronger than you look, Ed.
I had a hard time holding that door shut.
Sorry.
Not too tight, not too tight.
Okay, sorry.
I'd send you to Dr. Fleischman...
but he doesn't believe you exist.
This should heal up fine...
and thanks.
My pleasure, Ed.
So, are you and your father going to keep in touch?
Oh, yes. We're going to write each other and call...
and he's invited me up to see his family in Chickaloon.
Good.
I don't know if I'll go or not.
I mean, he has his life now...
and I have mine.
But it's okay.
You know, I got to meet him, and that's a really big thing.
I feel better.
Mmm. Buttered popcorn.
Yup.
And I've got the perfect movie.
What are we going to watch?
Wild Strawberries.
Oh.
1957.
Probably Ingmar Bergman's greatest film.
Really? What's it about?
It's about this old man who takes a trip...
and reviews his life as he travels.
I think I'll like that one.
I've been thinking about that old Zen conundrum:
"What's the sound of one hand clapping?"
My personal opinion, nothing.
You don't have two hands, you don't have any clapping. It's as simple as that.
Stars, galaxies, clapping hands, what's the point?
The point is that we all need somebody.
Whether you're a super cluster or a little proton...
or a yin or a yang.
Everybody is hooked into everybody else.
Like Romeo and Juliet...
fish and chips, Ben and Jerry...
Gilbert and Sullivan...
Mutt and Jeff...
Lunt and Fontanne...
Bert and Ernie, Wilbur and Orville...
bubble and cheese, E. and 'Scilla...
Bogie and Bacall...
Anthony and Cleopatra...